After everything that had happened in the February of this year the last thing on my mind was that I was going to get pregnant again, in fact given that took us a year and a half to get to that point it felt like it would like a lifetime before I got that second blue line, so we didn’t expect anything at all and really didn’t plan for anything at all to happen.
I started to feel a bit like my normal self, my period had started up again and I fell back into the routine of regular life. We booked a short break to Italy to not only give ourselves a break from everything that had happened but to celebrate my husbands birthday, little did I know I was actually already pregnant at this point!
We had a fantastic time, eating wonderful food, enjoying the sun and relaxing that I didn’t really notice I was late for my time of the month, in fact I just thought given everything that had happened my cycles were just a bit more variable than they had been.
But some more time passed and those funny old symptoms started up again, my boobs felt bigger, heavier and sore (although this is a common monthly occurrence for me), I was needing the loo more often and I started to feel a bit sick during the day. I had been given a stack of pregnancy tests by the EPU on my last visit so figured I may as well do one to prove to myself I was going bonkers rather than being pregnant. So one lazy Sunday morning I work up, did the test and straight away a bright blue second line appeared, I honestly couldn’t believe it and there was no question about it this time, it was as bold and blue and the test line.
My husband and I were both in a state of shock but were of course thrilled, my husband even referred to me as a baby making machine, but it felt like all the hoping, wishing, happiness and sadness of of the past few months were just all tied up in this one little test.
First thing I did was to try and get an appointment with my GP to confirm everything and move onto the next steps of my maternity care, easier said then done! There was a two week wait so I booked in, waited and checked often to see if any cancellations came up. I had given up caffeine as soon as I knew I was pregnant and checked I wasn’t eating anything I shouldn’t and was taking my folic acid, basically everything the Doctor will tell you to do on your first visit.
By a rough estimate on the NHS site I was around 8 weeks pregnant, which is pretty far along to be finding out but in a way was nice as the previous weeks of worry were bypassed a bit as I lived in blissful ignorance. My only major concern was the coffee I had drunk without knowing (caffeine consumption can increase the chance of miscarriage and I certainly didn’t want to go through that again) but thankfully I am not a big drinker so that was one less worry I had up until seeing my GP.
I managed to get a cancellation the Friday before my scheduled appointment the following week so went into the surgery with my sample and hopes that the positive would still show up, which it did in a glorious bold pink line. My GP could not have been happier for me and sent me away with some paperwork and let me know my midwife and scan appointments would be sent to me in the post pretty sharpish because due to her estimates I was 9 weeks pregnant with a due date on Christmas Eve.
I went away feeling fantastic, being able to tell my husband and my mum the news that everything looked as it should and when the baby might be due was such a relief, this was so different from my last experience and I was on cloud nine.
Then on that Sunday the bleeding started.
I had woken up as normal and gone downstairs and there it was, a big pink blob followed by bright red bleeding, of course this sent me into a total panic and all I could think of is it’s happening again. I called up the EPU as soon as they opened, they advised I came in but couldn’t guarantee me a scan as it was the weekend and a Bank Holiday.
I rushed down and waiting for around three hours to be seen and it honestly was the longest wait of my life. My mum had come with me for support but we barely spoke, I just couldn’t stop thinking that when I was seen they were going to tell me that bad news all over again.
Thankfully I was called straight into the scan room and the first thing she said to me was baby is all ok and pulled the screen round so I could see my little jelly bean bouncing around, I was also given a new EDD which 27 December.
The bleed was coming from behind the baby and wasn’t effecting it. I was told to keep an eye on it and if it got worse to go back. I was sent away with a photo and a great sense of relief.
Of course this was short lived as the bleeding just didn’t go away, It had settled more into brown spotting as the week progressed but that nagging fear was at the forefront of my mind and intensified each time I went to the loo and saw it and then on the following Monday the bleeding got heavier again so once again I was up the EPG.
I had missed the slots for scans that day but saw a lovely nurse who did a swab to check there was nothing untoward causing the bleeding but she was happy that my cervix was nice a tightly closed and the only blood she could see was old and working its way out.
I went back in the next day for a follow up scan and thankfully again all was ok (the baby even gave a little kick!) I was advised that should the bleeding get heavier with clots and I was in pain to come back but overall everything looked ok and hopefully the bleeding I was currently having will stop and that will be that.
And thankfully a few days after going back it did, but the fear of it coming back was still there in the back of my mind and would keep growing until my next scan date which was another couple of weeks away.